Snap Fitness is out to get me... to exercise. This is a 24/7 place in my neighborhood that i've been meaning to check out for well over a month now. I even signed up for a coupon for a week's long free trial mid-November and never got around to actually going (but it's been in the back of my mind at all times). So this week i went out to Atlanta to visit with friends for a couple of days. Completely spur of the moment, brilliant idea. One of the evenings we drove to a grocery store to pick up some things for dinner and next to the grocery i noticed a SnapFitness gym. So while walking to the store we talked about the benefits and drawbacks of a 24/7 place that is not always staffed ( lack of free weights, anytime access). I mentioned that i've been meaning to check one out near me, and we talk about lack of motivations that plagues us all when it comes to exercise sometimes and move on to other topics. While walking through the store, i get a phone call from an unknown wisconsin number. I pick up and a young lady tells me that she's calling from SnapFitness to speak with me. *Look of shock on my face as a stare at Shelley while still on phone* The lady asks if i'm still considering checking them out because i requested that coupon, perhaps i lost it, perhaps i'd still like to come in and give SnapFitness a try. *Still a bit freaked out by strange coincidence* i tell the lady that yes, i indeed still want to check them out and will definitely stop by in January. She's happy to hear that, we end the conversation, and i discuss the probabilities of this happening with my friends. Shelley mentions that this means i should definitely go check out the gym or i should definitely not.

Today, i printed out the coupon for the gym and decided that i should probably go check them out. I look up saturday's staff time and realize that i only have an hour and a half, i putz around the house for a bit deciding what else i want to do if i'm to go outside and brave the driving conditions in the snowy weather. i decide to go pick up a "new year's tree" before going to snap fitness and maybe after snapfitness go read at a coffee shop. then while getting ready i decide that screw it, i'm just not gonna bother with the gym today and will just go get what i want at the store, go read and then go home and get ready for work tonight. happy with the decision not to subject myself to an exercise routine just yet, i go out, get what i want, come home, check my mailbox and in it find a coupon for a much discounted monthly price to guess where? SNAPFITNESS!
i think it's meant to be. they're working really hard at getting me to commit to exercise, so even though i'm quite against making any sort of resolutions, i might actually give a gym membership a try, but first, of course the week's free trial.


I'm watching: Dexter Season 2

I'm looking forward to: New Years, the new Sherlock Holmes film and friend's visit

I recommend: Avatar in 3D

I'm listening to: Ingrid Michaelson

I'm reading: The Book Whisperer: Awakening the Inner Reader in Every Child

i seem to be in a phase of re-newal. as in, i'm replacing old things with new and it seems to be happening all at the same time. a couple of weeks ago i damaged my mac notebook beyond repair with a bit of red wine. i let the notebook dry for 72 hours as recommended by most mac forums i read, and it turned on and worked briefly but then shut down and off for good. i took it to the mac people and they sighed and shook their head and told me the repairs would cost more than my little notebook is worth, so then i took it to my electronics savvy uncle who took the whole thing apart and discovered evidence of wine spillage in all the crooks and crannies of its innards, revealing why it will never work for me again. thankfully, the hard drive was left undamaged and so was the battery. so i ended buying a new version of the same notebook with tons more memory and a flashy new OS that is rocking my world right now. new thing #1.

my new thing #2 is coming in the mail in a couple of days. i'm getting a brand new cell phone and this time i'm spending more than 1$ for it. for the last two days people have been telling me that it's been impossible to hear me over the phone, and i finally remembered that three days ago, my cell phone was covered in delicious chicken and broccoli sauce from the free food i got at the restaurant after work. the container wasn't closed tightly and spilled a bit in my bag and the spill happened to cover my cell phone. my first thought was of course of David C and his washing of his cell phone in the bowling place in Nago after several people put his phone in their mouth. he washed his phone with water and soap and was surprised to discover that it had stopped working. so while driving home, my hand and cell phone covered in sweet smelling sauce, i laughed out loud thinking of Ben with David's phone in his mouth. so i learned from that story and did not wash my phone with soap and water but wiped it gently when i got home and it still worked so i completely forgot about it until enough people have told me that they couldn't hear me. hence, the new phone purchase.

my third new thing will be a car. it won't be a new car, but it'll be a "new to me" car and i'm very excited about this, 'cause it'll have radio and won't make noise when i drive and won't shake and will have all its handles intact. the car i'm driving right now is my sister's old Toyota and though it's amazing that it's still driving and i'm very thankful that it is, it's definitely time to get something of my own. i'm thinking a Honda Civic. will put up pics when i get it.

smaller new things are two pairs of shoes i bought yesterday and am very happy about. ones are a pair of Keens that i walked around for nearly two hours today, enjoying beautiful sunny fall weather and the others are Dansko which i got specifically to wear to work at the restaurant. am hoping that the initial discomfort i felt last night after wearing them is due to me not being used to them. they are supposed to be quite comfy once worn in--fingers crossed, 'cause they're not cheap.
i also got two hats on the same shopping trip.

I'm reading:Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I'm listening to:Regina Spektor's new album Far
I'm going to watch on DVD tonight: Ночной Дозор (Night Watch)
I'm looking forward to:Thanksgiving
I miss:Kijoka flowers


cooking goya in my brand new wok! :)

the first attempt proved a bit too bitter but not bad.

second attempt with goya soaked for half hour, added mirin and tuna--much better!

Today a guy came over to install my internet. He was nice and a bit sweaty and had a huge head of hair that stood out from his head and looked really funny. He had to spend a bit of time connecting my internet because for some reason the first modem didn't work and then the second one didn't appear to work, and so we decided that it was my Ethernet port that was the problem and so he had to go out to his truck once again to get a USB connector to get my internet hooked up to my laptop that way. While he was away, I ran through a trouble shooter and it had found that my Ethernet had failed to connect but at the same time the websites on both Firefox and Safari, which I had opened, started working. So I had to go out and get the guy (who was smoking a cigarette by his truck) and tell him that all's well and mysterious mac has come through. And while that's nice and well, what I really wanted to discuss here is the fact that I never know what to do with myself when there is someone in my home doing something for me, like installing my internet, or putting together my brand new bed (that happened on Saturday) or fixing the railings for the sliding doors in my closet (that happened two weeks ago), and any other work that someone comes in to do that they are paid to do, and I just stand there, trying to appear busy and feeling awkward. I offered him some water, which he declined. I put a few photos in an album (I was going through some old photos today to keep busy as I had no work until after noon), I drank coffee as I watched him struggle with the wires around my desk and then I moved the desk so he wouldn't have to struggle so much. And I kept on feeling out of place; like I should leave my own apartment because it would make both our experiences at that moment so much more comfortable. And then, there's the inevitable question of, "do you tip the person?" or at least I always wonder that to myself even though I do live in a country where someone who comes into your home to do this sort of a thing does not expect to be tipped, but then I think of my grandmothers who tip the guy who comes in to fix things around their apartment on a regular basis. Then again, it's always the same guy so they know to get good service from him if they throw in a couple of dollars every time he screws in a lightbulb or they need a painting hung up. Bit different from my situation. Never the less, the question of tipping and also of what to do with myself while someone is working in my home and I'm not paying them for it (directly, anyways) always makes me feel quite awkward.

I have to say that some days I don't like getting up in the morning for substitute teaching. It's a bit stressful showing up in a room with students I don't know, with procedures I haven't seen before, with lesson plans that may or may not be complete. In a couple of the schools I have been enough times already that most of the students I encounter in a classroom have met me before, which does make things a little easier. This week hasn't been the best for me on the personal front. Basically, I got dumped and so wasn't feeling super cheerful. Not cheerful enough for 3rd graders anyways but it turned out otherwise. I was with the same class Tuesday and Wednesday. I got the great news Tuesday night, so didn't sleep very well and was not looking forward to a day at a school without knowing whether I'd have a solid lesson plan in front of me or not. The kids were lovely, though, on Tuesday. I really enjoyed their company and even though I felt like crying most of the day on Wednesday, being around them really helped. I don't know if it's those specific kids, or if it's that age group but I had such a fantastic day with them that I came out of school that day feeling refreshed instead of down, and went straight to a movie theater to see one of the most depressing and humbling documentaries I have ever seen.
"The Cove" was finishing its run at our local Landmark theater, and I really wanted to see it on the big screen. It's a well crafted documentary that never loses its grip on the message and the ending is so numbingly horrific that it leaves you with no options but to seriously consider your personal attitudes on the issue and how you'd like to lead your life now that you have seen the effects of human arrogance and cruelty.
It really doesn't help that I'm working at a sushi restaurant right now and really can't quit the job because I do need the cash. I am thinking of asking today where the restaurant gets its fish for my own knowledge and in case any of the customers that want to get educated ask me as well.

It's gray and rainy in Milwaukee, but I have discovered a great coffee shop in my neighborhood and though it's not exactly walking distance from my place, I do see myself coming back. It's not a new company to me. Anodyne is a long time staple in coffee shops of Milwaukee and this new location in Bay View rocks. It's open and bright; it's got wonderful wood tables and chairs; it's got lots of outlets for surfers; it's got comfy looking leather chairs by windows and of course, it's got the most important thing--tasty coffee. So a couple of hours before I need to get ready for my restaurant shift, I'm getting cafeeined up and hoping that a headache I've developed this morning goes away before then. Not sure if it's dehydration related or something else. Maybe I slept too long today. Or maybe it's my thoughts that have been getting me down and me trying very hard to think of something else that's creating the headache pressure.

I'm getting a new bed tomorrow and internet service on Monday, so my apartment is nearly all set up and I'm finally starting to feel like it's my place, though I'm still getting used to all the sounds that are associated with living in a poorly insulated apartment building. The people upstairs from me seem to walk around a lot and everyone seems to need to take the elevator which is next to my apartment even though there are only three floors in this building. >.<

Ok, enough complaining. :)
best
-e

I think I hit writer’s block sometime ago and that’s why i haven’t been able to sit down and blog for a while. But in the last couple of days, I had to complete an assignment for a writing class i’m taking. It’s a six week 2-hour session/week writing class at a School of Continuing Education and it’s for anyone who wants to get their feet wet with short fiction and learn the basics in the process. So last night was our third session and we had to submit two 2-page sketches describing a scene. One had to be a setting we actually experienced and the other, a product of our imagination. It took me forever to sit down and write them but they were brewing up in my head the entire week, so i wasn’t fully procrastinating… just a little bit. I think they turned out all right; at least i hope the professor doesn’t rip them apart too much. But the point is: this class and writing these sketches did what i wanted it to do for me—made me sit down and write and break through the block that has formed months ago and hasn’t allowed me to get back to this medium and share my thoughts about my life.

There was a fourth wedding in Atlanta that took place in the beginning of September. I officiated that one as well. My close friend got married and i felt honored to be a part of her ceremony and her wedding weekend. I really enjoyed Atlanta as well, and did a little bit of exploration of it on foot and also on my last day when we went to the Botanical gardens and enjoyed a sunny day relaxing among the flowers and sculptures of Henry Moore. This fourth wedding was a planned one and was supposed to be the last one for me for a while, but i was pleasantly surprised a couple of weeks ago by my uncle who asked me to perform a very small and very private ceremony for himself and his bride at a very unusual venue—5,000 feet above ground in a tiny little airplane owned and piloted by his good friend.

Here are a few of pictures that will do a better job of describing this incredible experience for me than my words could.
The graceful, little four-seater plane getting gassed up for the journey

Excited before take off. And also a bit anxious. But mostly excited.

Woah! Going vertical and loving it. Probably the best part of the flight.
Touching the clouds
Getting married! Whoohooo!
Flying over the lake, looking back on shore.
Holly Hill
Best seat!
Back on solid ground after an amazing 50 min. journey.

Never thought that being asked to officiate one wedding this summer would lead to this fantastic and really, out of this world, experience.

Also wanted to share a very quick and easy recipe to make a fruit compote from frozen and fresh ingredients. I made it for the first time last night following my grandmother’s recipe and it turned out really nice, i think, at least i like it. Here’s what went into it:
Frozen cherries: rinse them once or twice in cold water and if you’re not as lazy as i am, take the pits out of them.
Fresh apples: no need to peel them but clean them out and cut them into small pieces, about an inch thick.
Frozen strawberries: rinse, clean, cut in halves or fourths
Frozen raspberries: no need to do anything to them before you toss them in
You can also throw in frozen blueberries if you have them. All the fruits can be frozen fresh and then used in the compote.

So fill a pot with cold water, toss in apples, cherries and strawberries and cook until it starts to boil at which point just lower the flame and keep it cooking at a low boil for 10-20 min, up to you. 10 minutes before turning off the compote, so 10, 20 min into cooking it, throw in the raspberries that way they might not completely disintegrate and will also add a great fresh flavor to the drink, instead of losing it completely if boiled the entire time. At this point you can taste your creation and decide on how much sugar to add. For a medium size pot that’s not filled to the brim, i’d start with three tablespoons of sugar, stir it up and try it again. It all depends on how sweet or how sour you like your compote. I used three tablespoons of brown sugar and it still came out somewhat sour but i like it. Without sugar it might not be tasty enough to drink. So some sugar is definitely a good idea. Right, so after tossing in raspberries, don’t cook for more than 10 min., turn off and let it cool on the stove for a few hours. Once it’s cooled down, transfer to a container and refrigerate and the next day you’ve got some lovely, fruit compote. The cooking process also fills the home with an awesome fragrance, which lingers for a while. ☺

Enjoy.

Weddings #2 and 3--Northern Minnesota and Southeastern Wisconsin

I just came out of the movie theater after seeing (500) Days of Summer--a movie about love that proclaims not to tell a love story, though in a way, of course it does. The film is realistic about the ups and downs, elation and devastation of relationships but it also makes a strong case for fate and things that are meant to be. (it's also funny, insightful and wonderfully acted)
Now, i wouldn't refer to myself as a romantic but the two relationships, whose union I oversaw this summer make a strong case for love's destiny which is one of the components of love.

Case 1: Girl moves to Japan from northern Minnesota and meets a boy from northern Scotland within the first three days. They chat, they check each other out--she makes him sing karaoke, he picks up the lighter she drops once too many times. They click. The girl is hesitant. She's not looking for a relationship. But they get to know each other during events, parties, activities. And after a few months, the boy is convinced that this girl, no matter how many times she says she's not sure, can't be allowed to go her way. He invites her to his beautiful island, he conjures up a perfect evening, they enjoy a swim under the stars and they kiss. And the rest is history really, because in the views of their friends, these two were going to get to that moment eventually--they just had to--they were meant to be. The girl and boy spent two years in Japan, they have spent time with each other's families, they have gone through the adventure of volunteering in Peru, and they have experienced what life is like living together when times are stressful and hard and the apartment is small during their last year in Oxford. Fast forward four years from their meeting in Tokyo, and we find ourselves in the park on the shore of lake Webster in the gorgeous northern Minnesota. The girl and the boy have just organized, with the help of their tremendously giving and loving families, a truly perfect wedding ceremony. I know--I had the privilege of writing it with them and leading it. The family and friends who have come from numerous parts of the world and United States are sitting on wooden benches put together just days before by the male contingent of close family and friends. When the wedding party is positioned and the glowing bride is walked down the isle by her father, i am overwhelmed by the actuality of what is about to take place. These two fantastic people, whom i have known for those last four years are committing their lives to each other, they're proclaiming that the fate was right in bringing them together, that their discovery of each other is what life is all about, and they're ready to spend their lives together fully understanding that it doesn't mean that every day will be the sunny fairy tale we're all in right now. But they know that--they've been through difficulties, they've stood by each other, they can do it. The rest of the ceremony flows naturally, the wind co-operates at just the right moment, the kiss in the water is more perfect than they envisioned, the pictures they take are as fun as they hoped they would be and everyone's happy for the couple, for themselves, for the perfect weather, for the outstanding party that is about to come and for the relaxation that is to follow.

Case #2: It's late November and my sister and I have just come out of another quirky film about love and life, Amelie. We saw the film near the Kennelworth building which at the time still housed the Archaeology laboratory and the ceramic studios of UW Milwaukee. I have been to that building a lot but only to the lower floors of the archaeology department, and when my sister mentioned that she wanted to stop by and see who was in the ceramic studio, i gladly came along. On the way she mentioned that there was a handsome artist she's noticed working there before and i guessed that we were going up to catch a glimpse of him. Was it fate, that we saw Amelie that night and that the handsome fellow happened to be working late that evening in the studio? Was it meant to be that i was inspired by the magic of the film that i felt that nothing could go wrong that night and that if my sister didn't have the nerves to give her number written on the postcard for the film to the handsome guy in a white t-shirt than it was something i had to do because it had to be done. Because my sister never talked to me much about the guys she liked and i could tell that this one was special, that this one touched her deeper and she wanted to take the step but was too shy. Which is what i said to the tall, blond guy in the white t-shirt and jeans when i gave him my sister's number. "I can't believe you did that," she whispered as we quickly made our way out of the studio and to be honest, i couldn't really believe it either--but wow. am i glad i did. These girl and boy have been together for eight years now. They have traveled together, they have created work together, they have built wood fire kiln together, which is a phrase you could quickly read and never realize the amount of work, devotion, dedication, thought, energy and love that goes into something like that. They have had their ups and they have certainly had their downs but they have come to understand that being together is what makes sense and that going through life apart is not what was destined for them. So on the first day of August, in the park, on the shore of Lake Michigan they walked out together and stood in front their close friends and family, shared their vows and exchanged the handmade rings, and took a group photo with everyone present. They put thought into all the aspects of their ceremony and party to make sure that the event truly reflected who they are as individuals and what their relationship is all about. From the 700+ dishes that they hand made for the party, to the beautiful lanterns, to the tables that used to be doors, to the weeks of vacuuming, cleaning, sorting, organizing, moving, building, sowing... all of it, which they envisioned in their minds and motivated others to envision as well even when it seemed impossible, it was all fully infused with their creative energy and of course, their love.

So perhaps fated love does exist and is capable of inspiring a romantic writer in me, but I also tend to think a bit more realistically and realize that if both these couples didn't put in the time and patience and work into their relationships that took them beyond the initial flutters of love into the deeper territories of commitment, we wouldn't have the opportunity to be there on the happy days of their weddings.

Mazel Tov!

Wedding No. 1--In Israel.

The night of the wedding was a cool 25 degrees weather (77 F) and the guests were gathering in the open courtyard of the restaurant after a walk up some very unimpressive stairs. At the top of the stairs to the right stood a safe with a slit at the top that acted as the bank into which guests were expected to drop an envelope with money. If they did not bring an envelope for the occasion, some were provided a few steps down on a landing at a small table. Bringing money to a wedding is a normal gesture in Israel (and in Russian speakers' culture as well). Guests are expected to contribute slightly more than what they think is the cost of the dinner service at the restaurant they have been invited to. When the dinner service starts, a close friend of the family will be sitting next to the safe, guarding it, for the remainder of the evening.

After the guests have been hugged and greeted by the family who are at the top of the stairs for that purpose and have been since 7:30pm, they head towards other groups of people they know or to the hors d'œuvres tables set up on either side of the open courtyard or the open bar on the right and in the back. The selection of appetizers that evening was from all over the world--almost as if it was meant to represent the people who have gathered there for the wedding. The bride's side of the family are Russian speakers who have immigrated to Israel in mid 90's and their friends have come from different parts of the world to celebrate with them. There are people from Russia and Kazakhstan, from Germany and Greece, from the US and Ukraine. It's a fun reunion evening for most of them and that's what I see as I walk around and take it all in--old friends, smiling faces, group photos, and loud, jubilant conversations. Across from the restaurant doors, with two beautifully decorated, glass pathways leading up to it, is the stairway leading up to the hupah. The decorators did a stunning job--the blue of the dusky sky is reflecting in the glass of the pathway lit up from underneath, the white lilies shimmer atop the dimmed fluorescence and the fabric of the hupah is tied at various points as if flowing. It's all set and now we just wait for the time to come, the music to die down, the rabbi to enter and the families to follow. The groom and the bride enter last preceded by two little angels in white who carefully toss flower petals as they lead the couple up to the glass steps, along the pathway and to the foot of the stairways and up to the hupah gazebo. The camera man and the video man hover in front of the family and the couple and make it impossible to capture any meaningful photos during the service. I snap them anyways, but mostly try and follow the ritual in a language I don't understand. The bride and groom get covered in a prayer shawl and in a few minutes time, the glass is broken and shouts of "Mazal Tov" fill the air around me. The couple and their family now joins the crowd as each guest waits to hug either the bride or the groom, personally wish them happiness and love and then head for the restaurant doors and try and find their designated seats. The party is about to start.

The tables are preset with salads, appetizers and breads. I am sharing mine with a close friend, a cousin, a couple with a child that we don't know, and another stranger who is at the wedding alone and whom we quickly befriend with our first toast to the couple. I put a couple of salads on my plate as the newlyweds come onto the dance floor for the first dance. They have been preparing for weeks--they picked out three songs: the slow, the tango and the salsa. I rush up to the dance floor and capture it all on camera. When I get back to the table my plate with the untouched salads is gone. The waiter claims I wasn't eating and he got upset. I should eat, he tells me through a Hebrew speaking friend because I am too skinny. If I promise to eat, he will give me a plate. I tell him I will eat. My plate disappears with food a couple more times during the evening. That is the fate of most diners' plates that evening. The dinner service started at around 9:30pm and they need to get all the courses out as well as dessert before 11 or 11:30. Most Israeli weddings finish before midnight. Most of them also take place on a weeknight because they are all religious (there are no civil marriages in Israel) and so cannot be performed from Friday to Saturday sundowns. The restaurants expect to be done by midnight and guests expect to be gone before that, hence the rush on dinner service, which did not for me dampen the spirit of the evening.
There was a lot of dancing in between the eating and both sides of the family enthusiastically took to the floor whenever prompted by the MC. There were no toasts given, probably to conserve on the time and no bouquets thrown (though that does sometimes happen, my friend says she just forgot hers in the ante room). I along with some close friends and family were the last people in the restaurant at 11:30pm after the quickest two hours I can remember ever experiencing. It all just flew by in a flurry of lights, music, smiles, glass clinking, vodka pouring and quick eating. At the end of the night, we were sitting at an empty table close to the dance floor--all other tables including the one we ate at were cleared off already, only the tall candle holders as center pieces remaining. A friend called over our waiter and asked him to bring us, the last 6 or so guests, a bottle of red wine, and we toasted the last toast of the evening as we watched the bride dance her last dance of the night with a group of close friends. In 10 minutes we were all outside, sorting out our rides, wishing each other "good nights" and "laila tovs" and with smiles on our faces, heading in different directions into the 25 degree, breezy night.


The set up
The groom pulls back the veil before heading up to the hupah.

Odnoklassniki (classmates)

this week i should be in Israel but i'm not. at first, when i had to make the decision to postpone the trip all sorts of negative emotions were fighting themselves out inside but i couldn't let any of them out because the reason i'm staying is an important one and the fact that i have to stay for that reason is on a level of emotions i don't even want to deal with and so it was easier to be angry right away. anyways. the interesting thing about changing a date for a trip that i had planned back in February is how many positive things were allowed to happen because of it. For one, i was able to spend half a day more in the company of my friends Brett and Namika whom i visited in Ohio over the weekend. Had i left for Israel on the 14th, i would have had to drive back from Ohio the same day i got there, and at the end of that first night, i was so tired (from 7 hours driving in the morning to a full day with Brett's family) that i was very glad not to have to make another long drive that night. Secondly, on the 11th i got a call from a charter school asking me to come in for an interview on the 17th, which if i was leaving for Israel on the 14th would have been impossible. And having gone to the interview, i can say, that i am glad i had the opportunity because i'm really interested in the position there and hope to get another chance to speak with the school leader. By staying an extra week, i am also able to be of more help to my sister Anna and her fiance. I have been to their place almost every day either painting, cleaning or making things for the reception. An extra week allowed me more time to work on the speeches for one of the wedding ceremonies I'm officiating this summer, and has allowed me to save money instead of spending it. And of course, the extra week has allowed me to fulfill the reason i stayed for that extra week and am now flying to Israel on the 22nd.
funny how that works.
also wanted to share a poem by Rumi that i thought was particularly poignant and deeply meaningful.
This is an excerpt from a larger poem called, A Great Wagon.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneels and kiss the ground.

just "fell" for the e.l.f. make up and nordstrom scam but might be all right in the end. turns out there's this company, e.l.f., that sells their products for a 1$ or 5$, so really cheap and it's actually for real and over a certain amount you get free shipping and there coupons to be used for even more discounts. mom and i ordered a bunch of things, because we thought the product was quality and was cheap because it was being bought out by a major company, as claimed by the info i got from a friend. turns out they're an independent company and their products are legitimately that cheap, so will just have to wait and see if the quality is crap or decent enough to have spent a 1$ or 5$ on it.

last weekend i spent visiting a friend in Jacksonville, FL. It's a northern city in Florida, close to the ocean, on a beautiful St. John's river and with lots of great nature all around, including a large variety of birds. Those are all great things, but i found Jax itself to be rather boring and without any interesting culture or something to recommend itself. But i still had a great time visiting my friend, going to the oldest city in USA called St. Augustine, going to the beach, kayaking, seeing alligators and crocodiles at an Alligator farm (not a farm, actually), and just generally having good time with friends. The balmy, hot weather did make miss Okinawa, as did the palm trees, the beaches, and the expressive clouds, so i enjoyed that aspect of the visit as well.

it's good seeing friends that live in different places, 'cause it gives me a chance to explore and see more of this country, but i do wish that they were still living within driving distances and not hundreds of miles away. i doubt it will happen again that my close friends are near me for a prolonged period of time, but that doesn't lessen the friendship or the bond we have between us. it's a great feeling to be able to spend time with someone after months or even years of not seeing them and have the time pass without any awkward silences or questioning glances or wondering thoughts. Just to enjoy someone's company and feel comfortable with them is quite a gift, i always treasure.

in other news, waiting on decision from grad school about admiting as a non-degree student for the fall so i can start taking a course or two before applying for Fall of 2010. Considering counseling as a career.

i'll be off to Israel in 10 days, which is exciting. But before that i'm going to turn 31, which is inevitable of course and seems such an unlikely thing to happen but there it is.

can't think of much else, so here are a couple of pics i like from the trip.
at the fort in St. Augustine, park volunteers re-enact cannon firing
with Stan with one of the cannons at the fort, which is the oldest stone fort in the USA
nesting birds at the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine, FL
an albino, who if he didn't move an inch while i was watching, would pass for a wax liking rather than a real thing

here are some status updates i'm not putting up right now:

Elina ...

is terribly missing Okinawa right now. To the point of tears in fact.
has too many important things to do and think about and no will or desire to put worth the effort.
wishes she could understand half of the economic explanations for the 2001 recession and the Enron crisis in the book she's reading
wants to be alone already
wants to be in a relationship already
is thinking that she should really do something with the three years of experience she's gathered in Okinawa but is not sure what
hopes that a school calls her tomorrow and she can make 100 bucks
needs to perk up and get on with it

is terribly missing Okinawa right now. To the point of tears, in fact.

Yesterday morning, while i was brushing my teeth, i saw a spider cautiously making his way across the sink counter. I don’t have an arachnophobia, so that’s no problem, but i’m also not always pleased to see spiders in my home, especially if they’re not the harmless daddy-long legs, but of possibly menacing, biting variety. A few years ago, i would have had no problem taking a bit of tissue off of a toilet roll, grabbing the spider, and tossing him into the toilet ball. But yesterday morning, i knew i couldn’t do that, because of a lovely individual i came to be friends with while living on Okinawa, and her voice rings in my ears every time i see an insect that i don’t have to kill to be rid of. She’s a vegan, and a lover of all that’s alive, and would never hurt a living soul on purpose (or unless they really really got to her, like ants during rainy season, and even then with tremendous remorse). She taught me how to catch giant and furry brown spiders on Okinawa with tupperware and she did the same for roaches in her apartment (i vacuumed them up—less humane but more distance). And so thanks to her, yesterday, i grabbed an empty toilet roll and some tissue, tricked the spider to walk into the roll, covered one end with the tissue and quick walked to the front door to release him before he managed to crawl out. The front door is rarely used in my house but it was closer to the bathroom, and i am squeamish about the thought of the spider crawling on me so the closer, the better. As i opened the front door, the spider was nearly out of the roll and making his way to the edge, so i tipped the roll and held on to the tissue covering one end while trying to maneuver the screen door open and that’s when i noticed a package in between the two doors. My mind split in two for a second—one half was enthusiastically shaking the spider loose and trying to make sure he didn’t land on me in the process while the other was reading the label addressed to me! and wondering what was inside. Two very exciting seconds later, the spider was outside, and i had a yellow, somewhat heavy package from my friend Shelley in my hands. I opened it in the bedroom and found a framed photograph she wanted to give me while i visited her in Denver last month but couldn’t find at the time. It’s a photo of me with a tiger pup taken in Thailand, and i don’t know when i would have discovered the package and the photo if i hadn’t decided to be more like my other friend that morning and let the spider live. And i’m very happy to have moments in the day when i know that i have thoughtful and caring friends who delight in surprises and teach me to be better. And with that uplifting story, on to other (related) news.


An American Robin (type of bird) decided to build a nest in the most unlikely of places, on top of a giant, rusted metal rake hanging outside our garage. The baby birds hatched a month ago and have already flown away but it was a great process to observe from nest building, to egg sitting, to tiny squeaking and then worm feeding and eventually to me coming over and spooking the biggest of the three chicks into taking his first ever flight. :)
I know i've always enjoyed noticing little things in nature--stopping to smell the roses and all that--but i think living on Okinawa has really given me a deeper appreciation of the environment in which we live and all the other living things that call it their home and do so irregardless of whether we exist and observe them or not. it's nice to think about how insignificant i am sometimes.
so here are a couple of pics of the nest and the baby american robin after his first flight from the nest to a nearby tree.




also, this week i mostly got paid to read, which was nice, and the book i read and finished is Leon Litwack's "How Free is Free?: The Long Death of Jim Crow," a poignant and devastating narrative on the development and institutionalization of Jim Crow Laws in the American history. It's beautifully written and I'm going to look for other books by him. Today, I picked up from the library "Animal Spirits: How Human Psychology Drives the Economy, and Why It Matters for Global Capitalism" by George Akerlof and Robert Shiller and am looking forward to it. Been on a non-fiction kick lately and am excited about that, 'cause that's never happened to me before but I guess all it takes is for me to be very curious about the topic and really good writing.

tomorrow i'm going to my first ever teacher interview at a charter school here in milwaukee, so hope it goes well and is a good experience. With the fierceness of the competition right now, i'm not expecting much but just to get my foot in door and my face seen. so hope your day goes well too.

love
-e

Me ready to go down the hill at Copper Mountain in Colorado.

For the last week since I’ve gotten back from my “spring break” trip most of my time has been occupied by job searching. There was also the three days during which my attention was solely focused on the needs of a 15 month old. I babysat my friends’ kid and generally enjoyed doing it but came to two conclusions, which am sure most people come to after caring for a young child. One: I do not want this kind of responsibility for myself right now and two, when I do have a child of my own, it’s going to be extremely hard to trust some stranger to look after them in my absence. Good lessons to learn, I think.

The job-hunting thing has been slow in progress. I went to a teacher fair last Saturday and was stunned to see that I was one of 850! teachers vying for a job with the 13 school districts in attendance. Not to say I expected this fair to be all about me. Wouldn’t it have been great though? I show up, walk up to a table of my first-choice district, chat with a person about my resume and their requirements, brilliantly show of my communication skills by answering their questions and get hired on the spot. A dream for most job seekers, I’m sure. Instead, I stood in line for nearly two hours to drop off a resume at the only school that advertised a social studies vacancy (so would bet 50% of people in that line were Soc. Studies hopefuls as well). The man who took it asked me a couple of questions: tell me about yourself, why should we hire you from the hundreds we see today, what makes you special, etc. The man seemed tired and bored by the time I got to speak with him or maybe it was my resume and answers that didn’t impress him, either way felt a bit letdown after such a long wait.
After that line stood in line for Milwaukee Public Schools which I really shouldn’t have done, ‘cause after 10 minutes of waiting the woman staffing the desk came over to all of us and asked specifically only to see speech pathologists and special ed. teachers. All the rest were asked to fill out the on-line application, as i expected. So considering that the only other school district left that offered a job for my licenses was the host school, I went to their line. This district separated all applicants by grade level and was actually conducting interviews with them but was not collecting resumes. I think I waited an hour before I had my chance to answer the six prepared questions on the list in front of my interviewer, the incoming assistant principal. Don’t know if I made a big impression; he smiled a few times at my answers, but mostly he gazed behind me at the ever-stretching line of educators drilling their eyes into my back. After that short interview i decided not to bother handing my resume to the other districts since none were actually looking for anyone with my qualifications and it was a better bet to wait and see if any of them post their openings on-line. I left with a slight headache, but must say that overall have a very positive feeling about the fair. First, i met someone who had the same supervisor as i at UWM and he told me about a Milwaukee charter school fair that coming week, and second, the organization of the fair was very pleasant. The superintendent walked around and tried to cheer people up, his high school students were on hand with bottles of water and to stand in line for you if you needed a break (i didn’t exploit that option, but thought it was a nice idea) and lastly, when i was leaving, i was offered a ride in the custodial van back to my car because it was raining and the lot was fairly big. So those were the positives. The negative, of course, was that neither of the districts will give me interviews, but that’s all right. I wasn’t really expecting it to be honest. Went home and since then have been perusing jobs on-line, filling out applications, sending in resumes, and considering what classes i’ll take next year if i’m not working full time. I’m thinking Spanish and Art History for starters.

In San Francisco.

The trip to San Francisco and Denver was fantastic, of course. I fell in love with SF once again and this time it wasn’t just a superficial tourist infatuation with a beautiful city, though there’s some of it in that. The difference this time from my first visit was that i got to spend time with a local (my cousin) who showed me around, took me to interesting art filled alleys, bakeries and ice cream parlors frequented by San Franciscans, and fun events that i would never have seen had i come to visit on my own, such as the big wheel race down one of the windiest streets of SF (not Lombard, though it started on there). Some pictures from the big wheel race you can see here. It was an awesome sight: colorful, filled with abandon, and done purely for the joy of doing unpretentious and fun.
So yes, i was sold on SF, so now i just need a plan for getting me there that would involve a steady job that would allow me to afford rent and food. Hmmmm.



Other thoughts of late. Been reading a book called Home: A short history of an idea, which is an interesting study of historical and sociological influences on architecture, interior design, and the idea of “comfort.” Surprising to realize that the definition of the word “comfort” as we use it today did not come into being until roughly three hundred years ago. It came from French into English and first made its appearance during the reign of Louis XV, though even then it wasn’t the type of “comfort” we think of now when we consider design of our houses and things in them. The book mostly focuses on development of the home and the associated idea of “comfort” within the Western world and uses the Asian histories and architectural ideas as contrast or to show outside influence. I’m still reading the book and yesterday, happened to look at photos of a friend’s new apartment back in Okinawa and this got me to think about what kind of house planning i prefer now that i’ve experienced several. There are things about the Japanese construct of the home idea that i like. I like that it’s possible to have everything in the house be mobile. I like that the bed is on the floor and can be removed when not needed. I like that the doors slide and in most cases, can be removed entirely to open up the space. All these things i really miss, but because i’m also very used to the way my room is set up right now, i don’t consider it uncomfortable even though it’s very different from the comfort i came to enjoy in Japan. It would be great if one day i have the chance to set up at least one of the rooms in my future house in a Japanese style. How to get the tatami, though? >.<



Best
-e

there are some interesting things i learn while i substitute. last week, for instance, i taught 2nd and 3rd graders Spanish. Yep. A language I know very very little about, and I was up there leading a class using very nicely put together lesson plans left by their Spanish teacher. With 2nd graders I learned (while they reviewed and practiced) animals names, most interestingly that the woodpecker is called pájaro carpintero, which literally means "bird-carpenter". With 3rd graders we went over some common Spanish food names (a lot of which we all already knew) and then I learned how to say "I like ..." And this all is very useful as I am learning Spanish on my own right now using the Nintendo DS's "My Spanish Coach" and Anki. So far I'm really enjoying the studying and am actually remembering things. Sometimes I slip into Japanese, though, which makes things a bit confusing but fun.

Another interesting things I learned about last week are tree frogs that hibernate during winter by freezing solid. That's right. Little frog rocks litter the forest floors of Northern America, as far north as the Arctic circle, and they spring into action as soon as the ice starts melting and within hours of thawing they start mating. I learned about them by watching a video along with the Biology classes I was subbing for last week. I think we were all equally mesmerized by watching a frozen solid little creature come to life. First, its heart starts slowly beating and then other organs warm up and within hours, his limbs start twitching and then awkwardly spring into action and the next second is off and hopping away. It's a very cool thing to see and I was completely mesmerized by this amazing natural wonder. How does a frozen frog rock go from solid to action ready you ask? Well. Here are a few place to check out the answers. I'd try to explain, but I wouldn't do a good job.
PBS video and Wiki link should be good places to start if you, like me, had no idea that these fascinating frogs existed.

This week just started but I subbed yesterday and once again, learned something new. I learned that a lot of us, Americans, are made out of corn because of the diet we eat. And I learned this by watching an interesting documentary with an Econ. class I subbed for, called King Corn. Two college grads decided to move to Iowa and grow an acre of corn to learn more about the process, the farmers, and how the corn they grow ends up in our food and in our hair. I didn't finish watching the film, 'cause class ended and we stopped when the guys started exploring how corn feed effects cows' digestion, so I'm hoping to catch it sometime on PBS in its full run. It was broadcast on Independent Lens so check your local listings.

Oh, and something not as fun but that did happen recently was that our lovely little dog, named Molly, ate my SD card. Sounds like a funny thing to have happened and am sure it was when it did, but I wasn't there to observe it--all I had were two shattered bits of a 2gig card and a dog full of photos from Greece and England that I didn't upload to my Mac yet. >.<

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-e

today two of my tutoring sessions canceled on me. at first i was a bit irritated since a) i prepped and drove down there and b) i had no other plans for those 5 hours so had to think of something to do. but luckily today happened to be a beautiful sunny, warm day in Milwaukee and after striking out with a few phone calls i decided just to go to the lake alone and find something to do. i drove to Lake Park and took a windy, short road down to Lake Drive (one of my favorite roads in Milwaukee...too bad it's so short) and noticed some people walking along side it and realized that in all the years of driving down that road, i never noticed a trail. So i found a place to park and took the trail and then walked along the lake and found another short trail that took me back up from lake drive. i walked to the water tower on north and then back down to the lake and back to my car at Lake Park. I'm really glad i did it. There were a lot of people out and about enjoying the sunshine and the warmth. It was nice to see so much life and pleasure along Lake Michigan on one of the first days of spring here. It made me appreciate being back here more, but at the same it really made me miss Okinawa and the indescribable beauty of the water as it sparkles under the sun as you drive along Route 58. So, bitter and sweet today.

I discovered a new site for myself for keeping track of my reading. I decided that I needed a good way of organizing notes about the books I read, especially if they're young adult books and I think they'd be good to use in a class room at some point. I did a brief search and found goodreads.com. After a few minutes of perusal I decided that it's exactly what I needed. It's a nice, clean design and allows for writing reviews, notes to myself, connecting with friends who read, and also being able to categorize my books under numerous "shelves" which will make it easier later to exactly what i'm looking for. so here's a little widget from that site with the first book i added.

i was at schools 4 out of 5 days this week. The highlight was reading a Dr. Seuss book to 20 2nd graders. Made me consider the possibility that I chose the wrong age group to certify in. Hmm...

This weekend was the graduation and my favorite class at Ogimi JHS took their leave and I am sorry I wasn't there to see them off. Hopefully my message was read to them during the ceremony and they were glad to hear from me. Perhaps, I'll visit in 5 years or so and see them all for the 20th ceremony in the village. That'd be nice.

was subbing at a suburban high school today and during lunch time overheard an interesting discussion among some teachers. there were about 4 or 5 of them involved and most seemed to be coaches of some kind and also science teachers. it all started when an older teacher joined the table and conversation went to a recent administrative meeting in which possible measures to curb inappropriate student dress were discussed. apparently at the meeting someone made the point that if the administration were to get more strict about student outfits (nothing revealing, no ultra-baggy-hanging-near-the-knees jeans, tank tops, etc), than in order to show students a good example the teachers should also start considering the way they dress to school. bringing up of this point started up a lively discussion among the lunching teachers. only one of them seemed behind this line of thinking, the others were really disapproving. they brought up classroom temperature, comfort, not being able to wear nice clothes due to experiments going wrong in science settings, and basically not seeing why they themselves needed to do anything when it was the students who were the problem. they mentioned a particular administrator whose goal is to dress the teachers more professionally and how it was all this person's fault for this subject being reintroduced again and again. apparently this administrator specifically disapproves of open-toed sandals for faculty. gasp!
now, i know, that some teachers need to dress more comfortably for the tasks they perform but i also started to believe that the more professional the teacher looks the more respect and attention that teacher is likely to get from his/her students. if teachers treat their jobs as something they respect enough not to wear jeans and sandals then perhaps students will respect the learning process that teacher is in charge of. just something i've been thinking about going from school to school. thoughts on this welcome.

overall, i've been really enjoying the subbing experience. i've been with 2nd, 4th, 5th and 6th graders as well as with several different high school classes, including biology and ESL. i've gotten to teach adjectives to 6th graders, fractions to ESL students, beginner genetics to biology classes, and watch over choir classes and study halls. quite a variety, which has given me a glimpse into a few schools in MPS and the suburbs and is making me think about what kind of classroom environment i'd like to eventually create for my future students. good stuff.

Minako, a friend from Okinawa, came to visit last weekend. She stayed 4 days and we drove around, shopped, ate Mexican and lots of home cooked russian, played in the snow and drank lots of Alterra coffee. It was a great visit and fun to have an opportunity to show someone from Okinawa my home and to see her react to it. I think she had a good time. I put up some pics on Facebook but here are a couple of my favorite photos from this weekend with her. And to explain them better, it's good to know that she's never seen snow until this visit to the United States.

today i went back to work. yay! It's been 6 months since i've left Okinawa and my job there. I spent four months traveling and two months back home getting back into the swing of things (one of those months i spent in New York, though, hanging out).
So since i got back from New york on the 20th January, i've been sending off my resumes and going through the hiring process for substitute teaching in some of the school districts around me. It turned out to be quite easy to get on the list of the middle schools near my house and even onto the list of my old high school, which is also a suburban school. Getting onto the Milwaukee Public School list took some time, a physical test and an on-line interview. When i went into the office this week to get officially added to their list and get all the paperwork sorted, i was told that i probably won't get called until next week. So this morning when my phone rang a little after 8am, just after i turned off my alarm and went back to sleep, actually, i was surprised to hear a woman asking me if i'd want to sub today. One of the things she said, though, confused me for a second though.. She said they weren't sure whether they could call me because on the piece of paper i signed on tuesday i wrote "immediately" where it said "start date". the woman said they weren't sure what i meant. ahem. ok. does immediately mean something else in another job jargon? i thought it was meant to show that i am ready for work as soon as possible. but whatever. she offered me three options for this morning and i took the ESL classes at a south milwaukee high school. I thought it would be a good first substitute experience as ESL kids are generally better behaved and it's something i can relate to and that was my last job, pretty much. I got to school on time, found the classroom and had a wonderful day. I taught three classes. We made Valentines cards 1st hour. 2nd hour i had the same kids as 1st hour pretty much, so that was nice but their 2nd hour was technically their Algebra class so i taught math today as well. Went really well, actually. Surprised myself. and was also surprised by how little math skills these kids had. But some of it could be language barrier as well, of course. So overall, a great day. But of course weird being back in an American classroom after my experience in Okinawa. I'll have to think through all the things that are different and startling about working in the States again but one thing i did notice is how few staff cars were in the parking lot when i came out at 4pm today. More than half the cars that were there in the morning were gone and that would never happen in a Japanese school on a regular school day.

And now i'm beat. I didn't have time to get myself lunch today; just packed some carrots and grabbed a banana and an apple. But i think pure adrenalin got me through the day. Will try and get to bed at reasonable hour today just in case i get another call tomorrow. :)

best
-e

i have been terrible with blogging since i came back and i'm not sure why exactly but i think a large part of it is that i'm home and this is "normalcy" whereas Japan was an entirely different world and so i felt the need to think about it in writing. But it's really not a good enough reason to stop the blogging/thinking/writing process. So i should start and see how it plays out.

I just watched a documentary about the current war in Iraq called No End in Sight and at this point i'm not sure if i can put my reaction into words but it's very visceral. The documentary focused on the decision making process (or intelligent lack thereof) prior and during the first few years of the war. I'd have to be honest and say that I never followed what was happening in Iraq very closely. I've listened to podcasts, read blogs and the news but I think I purposely didn't delve too deep because I knew it would produce the reaction the film did. And that's shame. But it really is no reason not to be made aware of the current situations playing out in the world and at home, and so I want to educate myself better about the state of current events, especially since I will hopefully be back in a classroom soon enough surrounded by students who'll expect me to know about it and teach them. So that's a goal and that's a positive thing to have.

Other positive things happening in my life? Well, I think i'll actually start working soon. I have been put on the sub list for several schools around my area and the hiring process with MPS (Milwaukee Public Schools) is under way as well. I'll also start tutoring after school and in the evenings in the next couple of weeks. The tutoring is for MPS students who receive it for free as part of No Child Left Behind. I of course will get paid. I'm actually looking forward to working with students one on one and getting to know them before potentially working in one of the MPS schools full time next year.

I've been exercising regularly, which is nice. I think mostly I'm doing it 'cause it's something that occupies my time, gives routine to my day, and also provides me with an opportunity to listen to podcasts as I run/walk for an hour in the gym. I've also been practicing karate a little bit when the studios in the gym are free but I fear that i have been forgetting essential elements of my training which is sad.
Same goes for Japanese as well as there are no opportunities at the moment to hear it or speak it. I have a game on my DS that provides some training and review but it's of course not the same.

Last week I read Nation by Terry Pratchett. It's a new young adult novel from him. It's a story about a 13 year old island boy whose entire people is destroyed in a huge typhoon and he is left to rebuild his "nation" with the help of a British girl who is a lone survivor of a shipwreck and other islanders that make their way to his island in search of food and safety. The book is a story about loss and the resilience of young people and also the skepticism that creeps into the minds of young adults who start discovering that the childhood world they were surrounded by and protected by is not the reality. There are scientists and pirates and islanders and gods and a cursing parrot and a treasure of a lost civilization. I really enjoyed the book and would recommend it as a quick and entertaining and also thought-provoking read.

Anything negative in my life right now? Yeah. I guess the fact that there are times when I miss my life on Okinawa so badly my whole body reacts. I feel like my chest caves in and I can't breathe and everything around me is all wrong and out of place. Those moments are brief and it's not a constant feeling by any means. I also feel very alone sometimes. It's not exactly a feeling of loneliness as if there's no one out there that cares about me. I know there are people out there who want to see me and would love to talk to me but most of them are very far away and when i don't feel that connection at the times when i guess i need it the most, it does create a sense of loneliness. It's good that i'm exercising, i think, 'cause otherwise i could be slipping into a depression. But I'm not. I'm good. It will help to start working and to have some money, and to create new connections with people in the city.

So that's what i'm looking forward to, i guess. I'm looking forward to my life here in Milwaukee becoming full of things that are mine and I have a connection to and an attachment to again. 'Cause even though nothing much has changed here while I was away, I have lost touch with people and places, and I need to regain that again to feel the lost sense of normalcy and purpose. I'm guessing it's a process that all returning JETs and others who've lived abroad for an extended amount of time go through.

Ganbarimasu! :)

love
-e

a little while back, my friend and blog colleague, Juhi, tagged me to write 7 random/strange things about myself. I've been thinking about it the whole time i was in NY and i think i've come up with some things. Hopefully there will be 7 in total.

1. Whenever i go on my travels, I am always accompanied by a Beanie baby turtle, Speedy. I got Speedy sometime in 1998 and ever since then he has been globe trotting with me. He's been on a dig in Germany, has ventured into the Sinai, has sat on a hotel room nightstand in India, and has warmed himself up on a Thai beach among other adventures. Right now he is relaxing on a bookshelf in Milwaukee.

2. Sometimes when I have absolutely nothing going on in my brain--a zoning out if you will--or when i'm feeling particularly happy and good, I sing a song from a Russian movie version of Merry Poppins. It's a nonsensical song about a barber who shaves a lion's mane and meets a ghastly end because of it. The chorus is great; loosely translated it goes, "This happened last summer, sometime in the middle of February/ in a faraway kingdom which has never seen a king/"

3. This could be strange or maybe not, don't know as i've never heard anyone else confess to this but then again this is the first time i mention it aloud (as a few other things that will follow) so here it goes--I talk out loud when i walk sometime. I don't know how it happens but sometimes on a long walk I'll play out a potential conversation in my mind; this could be something that might happen or something entirely impossible (like meeting Steve Buscemi in a park, chatting casually with him about this and that and then inviting him over to a friend's place). So while i'm playing out these potential dialogues in my head, i start talking them out loud. It's always under my breath as I am aware i am doing it and i don't want someone walking behind me to think i'm insane. Which i'm not. Honest. Also, when i go through the conversations, I know that this conversation will never take place. It's kind of sad, 'cause usually i think about dialogues that i want to happen, but as soon as i say the things i think i want to hear, i know i will not hear them.
it
4. I never remember anything about a movie outside of the fact that i liked it or not if i've only seen it once and it's been over a year since i've seen it. It's very irritating but i do have to see a film two or three times in order to remember plot, characters and specific and memorable scenes and bits of dialogue.

5. I collect movie tickets. I started collecting them after i saw the film "Kids" in 1996 and was introduced to the wonderful world of independent cinema. I only keep the ticket stubs of the films I enjoyed, and i'm very annoyed with the new flimsy credit card receipt like tickets that are now in use.

6. I don't believe in a deity and I don't believe anything happens after death and I don't believe in powers of fortune tellers and psychics but... i act through certain superstitions and i'm not sure why. I don't know whether it's just out of habit or some sort of self imposed tradition that i knock on wood, or glance in the mirror when returning home because i forgot something, or pretend-spit over my left shoulder when i think something nice about a child. It's odd. I don't think i actually believe those things guarantee anything but then again, when i was a child i had a terrible recurring dream. It was frightening and it appeared over and over. Finally when i told my mother about this, she called a Greek friend of hers to our house and the friend did what's called a "reading" over me. I don't think i was more than 5 years old but i remember the dream and the "reading" very clearly, and I also remember that I never had that dream or anything similar to it again.

7. and finally (wow, i'm actually on number seven already) I think about death a lot. My thinking about it is not like Juhi's though. What would happen is that I would think about a possible event that would lead to my death--a plane crash, a traffic accident, a drowning--and then i would think about all the things that would happen after my death. All the minute details from who'd be called first, what would they discover, what would happen to my body (if i'm abroad for example), who would be at my funeral, how would people whom my family doesn't know first hand find out about my death. Things like that. It makes me sad and it makes me think about writing a will and it makes me think about designating someone to know all my passwords and such. It's very self-involved isn't it? I have no idea where that comes from.

So that's that. Seven things. Now I would like to tag a couple of people who blog but i don't know if they'll do it. I'll ask David, Cliff and Vaughn so maybe this will keep going. I'm glad Juhi sent this to me--it's a good exercise on self-reflection.

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-e